Why you should never fall back on Plan B

What does having a Plan B mean when we relate it to our life path?

What you’ll do if the first plan doesn’t work out, being prepared in case something goes wrong or having a back up if you need to change direction ALL seem to fit the bill, until you give it more thought.

When I was growing up I really wanted to be an actress and although I was supported by my parents they always said that just in case I failed, I needed a Plan B to fall back on. I’ve spoken to a few friends about this and they experienced something similar. If it wasn’t a steady, boring, safe office job then you needed a Plan B.

It made me wonder what might be different if my parents had said “Go for it, if you focus on just that and believe you can do it, you will succeed”

How often do you give yourself a Plan B and what does having a Plan B really say about what you believe will happen?

When I listened a little closer this is what I heard Plan B whisper.

“This is the compromise I will settle for if I fail”

“I believe something will go wrong here so I want a back up”

“It’s OK if I don’t get what I really want as I’ve decided I’m happy to fail”

Having a plan B splits your focus and dilutes the emotion behind getting what you really want. You’ve created a soft landing to “fall back on” which means you know you’re going to trip up. I don’t think anyone goes out with crutches just in case they break their leg or plasters already stuck on their head, elbows and knees in case they fall over. If you believe you’ll be ok then if you choose to change direction in the future you’ll be able to, effortlessly.

We never really know how we’ll feel in the future but we need to trust that everything will always be OK. Getting to where you really want to be in life doesn’t tend to happen overnight, you have to be committed to giving yourself what you truly deserve. To boost your belief around Plan A, ask yourself “What am I most scared of happening?” then face those fears and work through them, most of the time the potential reward of reaching your goal far outweighs the likelihood of those fears becoming true.

What we think becomes a reality. If you’re clear on what you really want for yourself, throw out your Plan B and prepare for success, not failure. Otherwise when times get hard and your goal seems further away, quitting becomes easier because that seems like an uncomplicated  option.

Plan B tends to niggle away at us “Come to me, I’m ready for you, I’m a safe option, this is what you should be doing, you believe so yourself or else I wouldn’t be here”. Time to say screw you Plan B. I deserve what I really want and I believe I can have it so I’m kicking you to the curb for my first choice.

I never did make it as an actress, I left school at 16 and my mum made me do a GNVQ in admin, just in case. Do I have some regret? Yes actually, I would have loved to see how that panned out with just my Plan A in place. Upon reflection I would love to be a Romcom actress like Cameron Diaz or Jennifer Anniston. I love being a bit silly and goofy. Now though I make the most of that valuable lesson and go for what I really want. It’s not always easy, you have to push yourself, challenge your fears and limiting beliefs but the rewards are massive.

You don’t have to apply this directly to your life, just take what lands for you and go with it. If none of it does then that’s cool too. Some people like to rip the plaster off quickly and others like to go slow, as long as there are no plasters on as a precaution then you’re on the right path 😉

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Big sunglasses don’t make you cool…This does!

I’ve discovered the secret behind being really cool and I want to share the bottom line of it with you in this blog. Why? Because I AM COOL! And because I want everyone to live life having FUN and feeling FREE. (I’m also a bit goofy, very silly and not afraid to laugh at myself).

Keep reading to find out how you can be COOL too… just like me! (Insert sarcastic tone)

For a long time, I chased ‘cool’ and it didn’t do me any favours. I always wanted to hang out with the cool kids at school, I was really concerned with what I wore, where I went and who I was seen with, right up until my mid twenties.

The moment I decided to let go of cool was the day life became more FUN.

The reason cool has such a pull is because it hides the FEAR of “Am I good enough?” It protects us from putting ourselves out there, from making mistakes and showing the real ‘ME’.

Note: MISTAKES… What the hell? Why do we get so wrapped up in “What if I make a mistake?”. Hulloooo… has anyone actually looked at the word mistake. It was a mis-take, so you get to retake it with the experience of what to do better. No biggy, it’s not the end of the world…just, TAKE TWO!

It’s a bit like when you’re a kid at a party and you get the chance to be the Magician’s assistant, everyone’s hand flies up at the opportunity and the kid who actually has the 5 mins of fame has the time of their life, leaving feeling like they achieved something. As an adult, when metaphorically speaking, we get the Magician’s assistant opportunities we go through a whole pile of mental crap first, “I can’t do it, what if I make a tit of myself, it looks fun though, no don’t be silly, see if someone else puts their hand up first, if not then you go, what if I do something wrong, ok I’ll do it… hand up…. Oh no someone beat me to it” and then we miss the opportunity and feel regretful because we know we did ourselves a disservice worrying about “Am I good enough?”

The ‘Magician’s assistant’ we aspire to (the one we think is cool) is the one who jumps up to grab the opportunity first, seems completely comfortable in their own skin, embraces their vulnerability and enjoys the moment for what it is. In a situation that pulls them out of their comfort zone with no time to prep or worry, they realise they can only bring themselves and being themselves is always enough.

How many more moments in a day would you enjoy if you completely let go? How much more would you get from life if you knew you were always enough?

This is my own personal calculation.

Be yourself + Love your uniqueness + Embrace your vulnerability = Being cool (you are enough)

So next time that moment comes along where you could have fun and feel like you’ve achieved something

  • Letting loose on the dance floor
  • Asking someone out on a date
  • Putting yourself forward for a project at work
  • Delivering a talk in front of an audience

Remember the cool calculation and you will always be enough.

If this fails (although I guarantee it won’t) just buy a massive pair of sunglasses. This normally works.

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